Mother’s prayer, and Kathryn’s story for Carrison December 17, 2008

Until now my voice hasn’t been heard; Bill has done all of the posts on this prayer blog for our daughter Carrison.  Each entry has been done with a faith and passion that has truly been humbling to read.  It has been an outpouring of his heart and a true testament of a father’s deep and abiding love for his child. 

 

I have been quiet; slowly climbing out of a deep place of darkness and fear that only another mother can relate to.   The connection to her child being so deep that the actual true thought of losing that child would plunge her into an abyss of fear that seems unshakable and insurmountable.  But I have a faith that runs like a river of life through me and that has pulled me out the darkness and into a place of light. 

 

A Mother’s Answered Prayer:

 

My prayer for you, my darling daughter.

 

You are my answered prayer.  I prayed to Jesus that if He blessed me with a child that I would give that child back to Him by raising her to know and love Him in a close and intimate way.  Daddy and I named you Carrison Grace because we wanted you to know that you are a true gift to us from God and it is only by His grace that you are here.  We prayed so long to have you and you are the desire of our hearts.   We truly rejoice each day at the miracle that is you.

 

I was stripped to the very ‘kwik’ of my being when the doctors told me of the lesions on your brain.  I cried out to God from such a deep place of darkness and fear, “I swear to you that I will build up my faith around this!”  And I did.  In that moment I came to know intimately that all that mattered was my faith in God, my precious children and husband, my family and friends.   All else fell away.

 

Every night I knelt next to your bed and wept for your healing and God’s grace to be upon you.   My sobs were so many and so great that they would drench your pillow.  My faith wouldn’t allow me to think of anything other than your complete healing here on Earth.  Truly God heard my mother’s prayer and through His stripes healed you.  There is no doubt that you were chosen to be healed by a miracle and that we all were to witness that miracle.  The doctor’s couldn’t explain it but Daddy and I knew that through the fervent prayer of many prayer warriors that God had heard our collective plea and healed you.  My heart leaped with joy so great that the Angels themselves surely heard in Heaven when we learned that the lesions had disappeared!

 

From this day forward the word “miracle” takes on new meaning.  Time will be told by your needs, time will stand still when you connect with my eyes, time will drag when your eyes brim with tears.  And time will fly when you are content in my arms.  I see myself in your eyes; you are the miracle of God presented to me out of the Heavens.  One prayer at a time you will be wrapped in His veil of comfort.  You are my miracle, life of my life, my precious Carrison.  I look at you and see the most vulnerable and tender parts of my heart in your beautiful face.  I praise God for my Carrison Grace. 

 

With a heart full of love,   Mama

MRI results are in, and they are fantastic! October 17, 2008

The MRI results are in, and we are pleased! God has listened to our prayers, and your prayers, and He has answered powerfully!

 

In the words of the radiologist, “The spots are markedly smaller”.  They have no medical explanation as to what they are.  Dr. Janas said when they (the medical community) don’t know they chalk it up to a possible virus which actually is pretty common in the brain; she also said “Carrison literally had the radiologists scratching their heads because they couldn’t figure out what the spots were”.  The radiologist suggested that it could have been inflammation [from a possible virus] that is now reducing.  Dr. Janas also said that “we need to remember 2 words: NOT tumor. There are no fluid filled sacs, nothing is or has ever looked like a growth.  If it was a growth it wouldn’t be getting smaller”.  She also said, “This is great news!”  

 

I explained to Dr. Janas about the prayer blog and how we started it about a week after the initial MRI.  It was then that Carrison’s symptoms began to just disappear right in front of us. There is no other explanation other than that a miracle has occurred.  We’ve known it the entire time and now the medical community knows it too.  The radiologist has asked that we have another MRI in 3 months.  The most important thing about all of this is that God gets all the glory and credit.  We asked that it be so and it is.  God has delivered on his promise to heal our baby girl and he has delivered mightily!!

 

We will update periodically as we continue to follow this course, but it sure seems that this has been a huge answered prayer. All credit goes to Him, as clearly there is no medical explanation for the decrease. We still await the results of the other blood test, but at this point we are feeling strong in His glory.

 

Please share this story with others so that they can have their spirit renewed, or moved, by hearing of God’s powerful works. He is a loving God, and a healing God, and as we pray so shall He listen.

 

A good day, with no news October 14, 2008

Today we had Carrison’s followup MRI. This time we went to Scottish Rite, as we needed to have that additional blood test done. It was a long day, mostly waiting, but when it was all over all was good. We got no results today.

Last time we had an MRI, they kept us there to wait for the doctor to call us. That wasn’t fun waiting, and the news then was unsettling. Today they let us leave with no doctor discussions. My little brain says that if the lesions had been larger, or had they noticed anything else, they would have delayed us. Or at least called us this afternoon. No wait, no call. No news. I can hear the angels singing!

No news is the news we expect. We expect the lesions to be gone, and we’ll get some kind of news tomorrow. Check back tomorrow for the actual results, I’ll post when I get them.

More results are in, and the second MRI has been scheduled October 2, 2008

It has been a while since we posted, so here’s a little update. Carrison’s ancillary symptoms, shaky arm and unbalance, appear to be gone. We, along with her teachers, have been watching her like a hawk and there is nothing to see. Praise God!

 

We finally got some blood test results, and all were good. There was one test that they were slightly concerned with, but the nurse called back after I had asked about the MTHFR gene to apologize.  Even though it isn’t starred as an issue, Carrison has shown to be ‘homozygous’ meaning 2 of the same traits that very likely came from both of us; she has two “allele’s”.  Kathryn only has 1 so it wasn’t a concern for her according to her doctor, the Hematologist she saw after Will’s birth. 

 

However, Carrison needs to have one more blood test for Homocysteine to determine further if this is a concern or not.  It is a clotting factor of the blood that can have an effect on Thrombosis (blood clotting, as in deep vein thrombosis). Nothing has been determined yet, only that more information is needed. The nurse Dawn has asked that we schedule the MRI at Scottish Rite so we can also have her blood drawn at the same time. She doesn’t want her blood drawn at a satellite office. I quizzed the nurse again to see if there are any other results that need to be scrutinized and she confirmed that no, everything else other than the protein C [that has been determined to not be a factor] are all well within the normal range.

 

We have scheduled the MRI for October 14 at 10 am. Please pray for improved results, as we expect.  

The final blood test has been done September 5, 2008

We went yesterday evening to Scottish Rite and had the final blood test done, finally. Seems like it took forver to get the paperwork, but we got it and she has been tested. Carrison was a real trooper last night. She knows the drill about going to see a doctor – namely that a “shot” may be coming. Even so, she kept her complaining to a minimum and we are so proud of her bravery.

She truly does seem to be doing better. When we were going to the hospital last night for the blood test, she said “why are we going, I’m not dizzy or sick anymore”. So clearly she understands a bit about what has been going on. She thinks she’s doing better, though I say the same thing when a doctor visit is the next step if I’m not.

Here’s how I see it…. God has been barraged with prayers for Carrison and our family. We’ve moved up His priority list. He is listening, and He is acting. He is healing her. Our hope and prayer is for the positive results to continue, and for the next MRI to be better.

Your support and friendship has been incredible. People calling, emailing, bringing meals to our house, it has all been such positive reinforcement for our family.

Please keep praying, and checking in with us.

Subscription service is finally set up August 27, 2008

So many people are praying that we want to make sure everyone can be notified when any new posts come in. There is a subscribe now button on the right side, just click there and you can load in your email address and we’ll keep you informed.

Bill

We got some good news! August 26, 2008

This afternoon we received some of Carrison’s test results. I didn’t expect the blood test or the EEG to be particularly revealing, and they weren’t. All signs are positive, no signs are negative. The EEG is just a “snapshot in time”, so it’s not necessarily a giant factor in my mind, but in any event this report showed no abnormal activity. We still have another blood test to do in a few days, and we will continue to vigorously pursue answers until we get a totally clean bill of health.

Our God is so good. Less than a week ago we began this blog with an uncomfortable MRI. Since then, hundreds of people have emailed, called, and commented on this blog and our precious Carrison. Who knows how many prayers have gone up for her in the last week. What we do know is that God is listening. He hears us, and He is answering us in very real ways.

That was no accident at Krispy Kreme. These test results are no accident. The love and devotion we feel for our daughter is enveloping God and He is pleased. We covet your prayers and need for you all to keep praying, keep asking for a total healing.

I haven’t written of this next part, because I’m a little afraid to say it out loud.

Carrison’s teachers have been watching her very diligently. They can not tell that she is affected in any way. Previously, she would tilt her head a little to the left a lot, perhaps in compensation for her right side being a little off balance. She also has had a slight tremor in her right hand. The teachers aren’t seeing any of that now. And neither are we.

Are we deluded? Are we hoping so hard for a miracle that we are praying her symptoms away? I’m not entirely convinced that these symptoms are gone, perhaps she is just becoming more used to the imbalance. I just don’t know. But I do know that it feels encouraging, at least for a bit.

The next MRI will really shed more light on where we are headed. We want that MRI to be clear. We want His healing to be finished, leaving the doctors with only one clear explanation – a miracle was done.

Our beautiful little girl has a bright future. She is learning more and more each day. She has such an incredible vocabulary, I am amazed at the words she uses. She has such a thirst and passion for knowledge….

I just can’t wait to see what she grows up and becomes, how she affects this world. What kind of witness will she be? What kind of impact will she have on people? Stay with us as we continue to heal her, one prayer at a time.

A great weekend with Carrison August 25, 2008

This weekend there were no health issues, only fabulous life manifestations. We chose to spend as much time together as we could, and it was great.

Friday night we let the kids stay up a little later than normal. We had a little cookout with our neighbors, as we do on many weekends, and just generally enjoyed each other’s company. There are lots of children in our neighborhood, and they love to play outside.

Saturday morning I meet with a group of men in an accountability group. We’re searching for a new place to meet as our regular place no longer opens early on Saturday. We’re very particular, looking for a place with couches and soft chairs, not too noisy, in Roswell. We had a great meeting and those guys lifted me up like you couldn’t believe.

When I got home around 9:15, I watched old Mickey Mouse cartoons from 1935-1938 with Carrison and Will. They loved it. Carrison loves anything Disney, but particularly anything “girly”. She is a girly girl if there ever was one. I can only imagine what it will be like, as I walk by her side down the aisle one day. Will she choose someone that reminds her of her Father? Is that too over the top? Only time will tell.

We are so thankful for the comments on the blog, as well as the emails and voice mails. We are firmly convinced that Carrison is in a HEALING state, and it is through your words and thoughts and prayers that she is being lifted up. Pastor Steve had an excellent sermon yesterday that delivered a message about Jesus healing a sick little girl. Was this another nudge from God? Maybe so.

Please forward this blog to your friends and family. Anyone can subscribe so you get notified of future posts by clicking up on the top right.

Post EEG, God sent a messenger August 21, 2008

Carrison did a great job with the eeg technician this morning. She was apprehensive at first, as she always is at any doctor’s office. Kathryn had to get a wire attached to her first so Carrison could be convinced there was no pain involved. Once she saw that it wouldn’t hurt, she lay down and got wired up. All in all, outside of everyone being very tired, the morning went well. The technician told us it would be 7-10 days before we got any results. The longer it takes, the less chance the news will be bad – at least in my estimation.

Now for the God stuff…..

Carrison said she wanted to get a doughnut after the doctor’s visit. As many of you know, I am powerless over Krispy Kreme so that was not a hard sell. We went there right after we left the doctor’s office. Carrison didn’t want to pick anything up, she wanted to eat in the restaurant. That’s something we almost never do, but we did today. While we were in there, there were maybe 4 tables with people eating. An older gentleman was spread out on one table with a backpack and began to pack up a few minutes after we sat down to eat. As he got up, he surveyed the room. He chose me to speak to, just a cordial conversation about the neighborhood. He said “have a good day” and so did I. Then he left. Or so I thought.

When Carrison finished her doughnut, I cleaned her up and took her to the car. As I was buckling her in her carseat, the gentleman walked up to me again. On the side of my car is a magnet from my church, that says Love God, Love People. The gentleman asked me if I believed in my magnet. I said certainly. He then asked if I believed in guardian angels. A cool chill ran over me. I said yes. He said “I’m a real life guardian angel. I’ve been paralyzed from the waist down, been in a coma, and had a variety of other illnesses, and now I have no illness at all.” I said that’s incredible (boy, I’m a real wordsmith, huh), and he smiled and again said Have a Good Day. Then he walked off down the street.

Was there a reason I went to that Krispy Kreme today? Was there a reason we went inside instead of taking it home? Was there a reason that man spoke to me instead of the other folks in the store? I think so.

I think He is hearing us. God knows me well, and He knows that I prefer tangible signs. Proof if you will. So often we pray without a clear response from Him. I think this guy today at Krispy Kreme was God’s way of saying He’s listening.

We thank you all for the kind words and comments, the prayers and the emails. We are humbled by the response and hope you stay on this bandwagon as we roll on to victory.

Preparing for the EEG this morning August 21, 2008

Another pink dress, who knew?

 

I am up early, been up since 4:30. This morning is the EEG test for Carrison.

Kathryn stayed up with Carrison last night until 12:30. I’m sure they watched The Little Mermaid at least once. Snow White was on when I went to bed. Carrison has to be sleep deprived this morning so she can fall asleep at the doctor’s office for a sleeping EEG as well as an awake EEG.

We had the good fortune of visiting with our head pastor yesterday evening, Pastor Steve. He was gracious enough to make some time to pray over Carrison and our famiy, and to annoint her with oil. I know he was very busy, and we are thankful for the time he could carve out for us. He’s a good guy, and those of you who haven’t met him yet are missing out.

We are overwhelmed by the outpouring of support that came from the email yesterday. Besides the comments posted on the blog, we had many many more emails come in. We appreciate the love and support more thna you can imagine.

Sometimes it seems trite – I’ll pray for you. Sometimes it seems like that is a conditioned response, what we know we should say when someone mentions adversity, or strife, or illness. But my family believes that prayer is the ultimate healer. That’s how this blog got it’s name – healing her, one prayer at a time.

When you think of us, or Carrison especially, say a prayer. Even a quick one helps. God, hear me now. Please heal little Carrison, and comfort her and her family as this abnormality recedes. That’s easy, right? With a multitude of those we WILL get good results.

Father, this morning I praise you for the rich network you have passed this message through. You knew many years ago who would get these messages today. You knew the right people for us to meet – strong pray-ers who could lift up a little girl higher than any mountains, higher than any birds could fly. I ask you to hear their petitions. Hear the words they are saying about Carrison and our family. We need You to heal Carrison here on Earth now. We know You have an awesome plan for her in this life, at this time. We promised You that if You gave her to us in the beginning we’d give her back to You. We have been faithful in taking her to church and teaching her about You. We ask You now to breathe life back into those lesions. Pass Your healing hands over her now so that those lesions are removed.

We also pray that You bless these words I type to be stirring in spirit for those who read them. Give them the power to carry forward, to inspire others to a greater committment with You, to help others to know You are the author of all and You WILL heal Carrison here on earth. Let this healing be a testament to Your power and glory. Amen.